It has been quite a long time since i masked my face with fake smiles, false promises and unworthy appreciations. Yes Professional life is something which moves along these non-valuable masks but we have to do all these for the sake of money and survival. We are not realizing that we are losing ourselves into this false image which we create for the professional life.
Being a software professional, I am no exception to that. I too live with this false mask almost half of my day. Out of my college with lot of dreams I entered this pro world.
Being new to this pro world I was mesmerized by its offering. I enjoyed forgetting my dreams, I lied frequently for my convenience, I smiled falsely and also I learned. Later at some point of time I started to ask myself the question "Is this what I dreamed about??", I do not have answer for that. Day by day the thought came haunting me, driving me to find the answer.
Something inside kept on saying that "this is not. this is not.", I changed my job, changed my city but not able to change my thoughts. The situation went worse in my new job. To the least I was learning something in my earlier job but this new one was driving me crazy. I wasn't allowed to think of my own, forced to follow. My thoughts were narrowed and they were changing me right in front of my eyes, I didn't like it. Every time I tried to wander my thoughts, they put hurdles to stop them.
I was habituated to do what i think was a junk work. I was forced to praise it, I was lectured as if the work i do was something great. Just like the moon clearly visible on full moon day, the pro life started to unfold its mystery slowly. I see now the true pro life right in front of my eyes mocking at me. I see no hope of chasing my dream rather than just wear the same false mask and move along. It seems to me that everything is lost. yet, at the end of the day when I lie down in my bed my heart asks me the same question "Is this what I dreamed about??".
That is when I realized until I suppress this question from my heart, the hope is not completely lost. The chase is still on.
Being a software professional, I am no exception to that. I too live with this false mask almost half of my day. Out of my college with lot of dreams I entered this pro world.
Being new to this pro world I was mesmerized by its offering. I enjoyed forgetting my dreams, I lied frequently for my convenience, I smiled falsely and also I learned. Later at some point of time I started to ask myself the question "Is this what I dreamed about??", I do not have answer for that. Day by day the thought came haunting me, driving me to find the answer.Something inside kept on saying that "this is not. this is not.", I changed my job, changed my city but not able to change my thoughts. The situation went worse in my new job. To the least I was learning something in my earlier job but this new one was driving me crazy. I wasn't allowed to think of my own, forced to follow. My thoughts were narrowed and they were changing me right in front of my eyes, I didn't like it. Every time I tried to wander my thoughts, they put hurdles to stop them.
I was habituated to do what i think was a junk work. I was forced to praise it, I was lectured as if the work i do was something great. Just like the moon clearly visible on full moon day, the pro life started to unfold its mystery slowly. I see now the true pro life right in front of my eyes mocking at me. I see no hope of chasing my dream rather than just wear the same false mask and move along. It seems to me that everything is lost. yet, at the end of the day when I lie down in my bed my heart asks me the same question "Is this what I dreamed about??".
That is when I realized until I suppress this question from my heart, the hope is not completely lost. The chase is still on.
Good one buddy keep writing more blogs....
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