It has been long time since I expressed myself. I was kind of busy in this, that and that. In the gap between my last post and this, I have realised many things and some I really wanted to blog it. But, as usual I couldn't do it may be I was destined to keep it myself (chuckles). Also I have changed my job so there might be delay in my blogging. I couldn't resist this thought so here I present.
We come across many things in our life but all of them doesn't remain as our memories. There are certain memories like first job, first betrayal etc., which we might not be able to get rid of our mind. No matter how hard you try it, one thing or other will always keeps reminding you those memories and First Love stands top in those list. The reason I write this blog now in-spite of my other nibbling thoughts is also the same. Few years back it so happened that i expressed my love to a girl. The memories of those moments still remain in me. I still remember the minute details of that moment.
Few years before I proposed her she came in my life. I still remember the first time I met her where she mistook me as my brother and was chatting with me. Out of school and freshly into college, I instantly developed a crush towards her. I always used to imagine many things out of which some are extraordinary and some are simple but I have never attempted to try either of them. Speaking to girls was one such thing for me at that age. Since we are not of same college its very rare occasions that I meet her. It would make me feel happy when such occasions occur. It continued for some period and I have kind of being developed friendship with all in their group. It was all moving well until one day I heard the news. yes, she was already in love with someone and it so happened that he is one of my close friend in that group.
I was so depressed and as everyone do I was judging all the diplomatic reasons to convince myself either to move on or their love is immature. It took me some time to realize its I who is immature to still struggle with thoughts as i was not sure at that point of time whether my feeling towards her was an infatuation or love. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind, luckily it made something good to me. It actually increased my bonding with my friends. I am still happy that happened. The Final semester was nearing sooner and my focus shifted towards job and she was completely out of my thoughts. I was soon placed in a decent software firm and the job changed everything in me. I happened to learn responsibility and many things and since I was sharing the room with my college friends, my days was moving very fast.
One day, I happened to hear that she has broken-up with her boyfriend and I felt very happy for a moment and even i thought of re-inventing my love with her. Later I realised that both were my friends and felt pity for their situation. I was quickly back into my world and was concentrating on my work. I was sent to US as part of my job and before starting to US I visited my parents and it so happened that i met her and we greeted each other with general "hi" "hello" and exchanged our mail-id's. Even though I was busy at my work I was feeling a little bit bored as i was missing something in US. In a weeks time she started chatting with me. Initially with few minutes and lately it followed all night. I used to stay awake till 4 in the morning just to chat with her. sometimes she will be online and some times she might not. As time moves on I was kind of expecting her ping daily and will get upset when i dont see her online.
She used to share everything with me, infact I believe that she started chatting with me because of the break-up. Since all her friends are his too she was searching for someone to express herself. Our this chatting increased our friendship, we continued to stay in touch after i reached to india. Every time my phone rings, I was hoping that it would be her that is when I realised my love for her. I never send/reply via sms to anyone but started sending it to her. I realised that i am moving closer to her and tried to keep my distance but couldn't. In one way or another we end up talking daily. I even asked her out (as a friend) - to know her intention of spending time with me but I received a mixed response and I was not able to study her intentions.
Finally during my second visit to US I have made up my mind that i need to propose her before my return. One Fine day It happened (more on it later as it is getting lengthier) :)
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